This is what I must tell my dad — before our time runs out

Dear Dad,

As a full-stack developer, I‘ve built my career on a foundation of problem-solving, continuous learning, and embracing new challenges. Looking back, it‘s clear that the seeds of these skills were planted in childhood through the time we spent together and the lessons you imparted. Your influence has shaped not only the person I am, but the coder I have become.

Some of my earliest memories are of us huddled together in front of the old Commodore 64, poring over lines of BASIC code. While other kids were playing video games, you recognized the potential of computers as tools for learning and creation. You saw the importance of understanding how they worked, not just how to consume content others made. Even then, you had the foresight to know that coding would be a defining skill of my generation.

Those early lessons stuck with me. When I first started learning web development, deciphering HTML and CSS felt familiar, like a puzzle we might have solved together. Whenever I got stuck on a thorny JavaScript problem, I would hear your voice in my head: "Take it one step at a time. Break it down into smaller pieces." That systematic approach to problem-solving, the patience to work through frustration, the conviction that a solution can always be found — these are the qualities of a successful developer, and they are qualities I first learned from you.

Your influence goes far beyond technical skills. As a leader and mentor to other developers, I often find myself channeling your wisdom. The way you always made time to listen and offer guidance, the respectful way you treated colleagues, your integrity and work ethic — these are the qualities that define a great leader. I strive every day to emulate the example you set.

Research shows just how crucial a parent‘s influence can be in shaping a child‘s interest and success in STEM fields. A study by Microsoft found that girls who had a parent that encouraged them to pursue STEM subjects were twice as likely to consider a career in those fields. Another study published in the journal Science reported that children whose parents held high expectations for them and discussed science at home scored significantly better on standardized tests.

You were ahead of your time in recognizing the importance of encouraging my interests in computers and science. At a time when many parents dismissed video games and computers as mere toys, you saw them as tools that could open up a world of creative and professional possibilities. You never fell into gendered stereotypes or tried to push me into more "conventional" interests. You gave me space to explore and experiment, to find my own way.

That freedom to tinker and discover was crucial. Research from MIT has shown that children learn best through exploration, whether it‘s taking apart a toy to see how it works, or remixing code to create something new. By giving me access to computers and programming languages from a young age, you helped me develop that curiosity and drive to understand how systems work under the hood. Every time I dive into a new codebase or learn a new framework, I‘m transported back to that feeling of excitement and discovery we shared.

Looking back, I‘m struck by how many of the skills and qualities that define a successful developer are ones that you helped cultivate in me:

• Persistence in the face of failure: Some of my most valuable learning experiences as a coder have come from debugging seemingly impossible errors. In those moments of frustration, I remember the countless times you encouraged me to keep trying, to view failures and mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow. Just as you helped me troubleshoot faulty code on the C64, you taught me to approach real-world bugs with patience and persistence.

• Embracing continuous learning: The pace of change in the technology world is relentless. The languages, tools and best practices that defined the industry when I started my career are now drastically different. To thrive in this field requires a deep commitment to continuous learning and growth. That love of learning is something you instilled in me from my earliest days. Whether it was tinkering with a new programming language together or discussing the latest scientific discoveries, you made learning a joyful, lifelong pursuit.

• Collaborating and communicating effectively: Modern software development is a team sport. The myth of the lone genius coder is just that — a myth. To create something truly innovative requires collaboration, communication, and the ability to work effectively with others. Those interpersonal skills are ones I learned by watching you — the way you treated everyone with respect, the way you listened attentively and offered thoughtful feedback, your talent for explaining complex ideas in simple, relatable terms. In an industry where soft skills are often undervalued, you taught me just how essential they are.

• Adaptability and openness to change: If there‘s one constant in the tech world, it‘s change. Programming languages evolve, new frameworks emerge, disruptive technologies upend established ways of working. Thriving in this environment requires adaptability, a willingness to let go of old assumptions and embrace new paradigms. That openness to change is something I learned from watching you grow along with the technology, from your eager adoption of early home computers to your experiments with digital art and music. You showed me that age is no barrier to learning new things.

As I reflect on all these lessons and qualities, I am filled with gratitude and renewed appreciation for your influence. I know that I would not be the developer or the person I am today without your guidance, your example, and your unwavering belief in me.

And yet, I fear there is still so much left unsaid between us. As we face the painful reality of our limited time left together, I feel an urgency to express what you mean to me and to learn everything I can from you, while I still have the chance. There are so many questions I want to ask about your life and experiences. So many stories I want to hear and memories I want to record. So much wisdom I want to soak up.

Thank you for the lifetime of love and lessons you have given me. Thank you for nurturing my early love of computers and coding, and for giving me the tools to turn that passion into a fulfilling career. Thank you for being a shining example of integrity, curiosity and kindness.

The time we have left together is precious, and I intend to cherish every moment. I want to learn everything I can from you, record your stories, and preserve your wisdom for future generations. Your legacy will live on through the code I write, the developers I mentor, and the love of learning I pass on to my own children.

You are an integral part of the person and the developer I have become. I will spend the rest of my days striving to make you proud and to honor the lessons you have taught me.

With love and gratitude,

Your son, the coder